Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Find the Velveeta

Based on Monday’s post, you might think that I’m intentionally avoiding a discussion of politics, eschewing it for lighter fare. In a way, you’d be right. During Democratic Party Introspection Month™, I’ve found my political itches scratched by Talking Points Memo, Andrew Sullivan, Eschaton, Daily Kos, & Wonkette. If you’re unfamiliar with these politoblogs, I highly recommend checking them out.

In the meantime, I’ll be sticking to the namesake of the blog: Commenting about things I encounter while sauntering, whether it be sauntering online or about the town.

Today, it’s cheese. Well, not really cheese. Velveeta.

Velveeta is the most difficult item to locate in the grocery store.

I challenge you: Go to any unknown grocery store. Locate the Velveeta.

Took forever, didn't it? Why the confusion? Well, Velvetta is the un-cheese. Cheese is not an ingredient in Velveeta; however, people use it like cheese. Before it’s opened, Velveeta doesn’t need to be refrigerated. You could put in anywhere in a grocery store. In my experience, those stocking the shelves do stick it anywhere.

The Mollie Stone’s store near me dignifies Velveeta. They place Velveeta on a shelf near actual cheese. Separate but equal. It's a yellow-orange neighborhood.

The nearest Safeway slanders Velveeta. They place it in the cracker/chips/snacks/bad-for-you section, next to the squeezy cheese. Velveeta may be a lot of things, but it is not cheese from a can. C’mon. People actually cook with Velveeta. (By people, I mean me. By cook, I mean make nachos).

Another local Safeway actively tries to hide the Velveeta. Since oils are the primary ingredients in this loaf of cheezy endurance, the shelf stockers plop the Velveeta amongst the oils. Olive Oil. Canola. Velveeta. Incredibly odd.

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