Friday, August 29, 2003

In Real News, The Onion is Now a Stable Business

Who would have guessed it? I thought for sure The Onion was headed down the tubes. Personally, I'm glad they'll be around -- otherwise, we'd need to rely too heavily on Al Franken for straight talk on the Ten Commandments.

Giants in Salary Mess

If you follow the San Francisco Giants, it's mystifying to see them succeed as they have with a payroll that makes this little sense. Two outfielders who almost never play (Jeffrey Hammonds and Marvin Benard) make $1,500,000 more than Tim Worrell ($2M), Marquis Grissom ($1.85M), Benito Santiago ($1.78M), Neifi Perez ($1.5M), Dustin Hermanson ($900K), Scott Eyre ($725K), Andres Galarraga ($500K), Pedro Feliz ($325K), Ryan Jensen ($317K), Chad Zerbe ($317K), Yorvit Torrealba ($312K), and Joe Nathan ($300K) COMBINED.

No amount of Billy Beane-ball could solve this contract problem.

Conclusion: Whatever they do during this post season, next season could look like the 1998 Florida Marlins, a 54-108 squad with a completely different roster from the team that won the World Series the previous year.

A bad day. A very bad day.

Initiation Ritual

This is merely Madonna passing her stage persona, life force, and personal history to the next carrier of the torch.

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Demolition Man Convinced Him

"I haven't lived my life to be a politician." Well, why start now?

Quite a Line-up

Republicans get serious actors like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ronald Reagan, and Fred Thompson. Democrats get Al Franken and Bill Maher.

Who gets the old magicians?
Aging pop stars? (I suppose the Republicans get that one.)

Who would you take?

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Say Anything

...and so it begins.

The Hall of Documentation Weirdness

The Hall of Documentation Weirdness proves what we all suspected: That the people writing product documentation want to hurt and confuse us.

The Bills are Iraqqing Up

How much did they say this was going to cost?

Jane Fought the RIAA

Go, Jane, go!

PanIP: Lamprey to Industry's Shark

This is great news. PanIP claims to have (more or less) patented e-commerce, and they've been suing the little guys to assemble a war chest before taking on the likes of Amazon & eBay.

Silly Rahu

Sure. Blame Rahu, just like you always do.

A Lack of Sunshine Can Make You Depressed

Thank goodness. I expect Canada to be on the forefront of important issues like this.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Dude. I Totally Know Where You Can Find That Guy

I know the article claims that the monk is holding a toy Yeti ...but I'm confident that the doll in question is actually the snow monster from Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer.

Philosophy Talk

Good or Bad? After listening for about 5 minutes, I'm reminded why analytic philosophy interferes with my digestion. It's too bad that Richard Rorty wouldn't engage in this self-promotion.

Geek Glee

This + This = Tivo in our bedroom! Hurray!

Iraq UN Tragedy


Update (4/8/2005): Why would CNN remove the original article? It seems like most of their important content lives forever.

Backdoor Draft

Though it was an atrocious movie, Starship Troopers contained some challenging take-away ideas. In that movie, people who had not completed military service were civilians, while the military and military veterans were citizens, thus able to vote. I wonder how the current administration would fare if only our military could vote...

Monday, August 25, 2003

Can the Fox News Ship Be Lefted?

"It's time to return Al Franken to the obscurity he's normally accustomed to", could Fox News sound any less professional in this Al Franken lawsuit? Rupert Murdoch's ship is adrift; if only they knew that the only way to discourage parody is to avoid inviting it.

The Shizzolator

Snoop's post-modern digestion of society is beautiful art. Thank you, Mr. Dogg. Of course, we all carve up society in lovely ways.

Passing: Wesley Willis

Though a multi-faceted individual, Wesley Willis will forever be known as a man capable of thoroughly whooping Batman's ass.

Good Numbers for Gray

50% and falling.